No touchy!
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Most kids wonder what their parents were like when they were younger. Charlie Valdez should learn that 'no touchy' means 'no touchy' These things do go together.
1. Chapter 1

**I tried writing this chapter about eight times, but my laptop** _ **would not**_ **save it, I lost it five times and I've tried writing it like a million times trying to get it somewhere close to how decent my first version was, but I can't remember it and it's really frustrating so I've tried what I could and see where I go from there. Just an idea that I wanted to write up ^_^ I own nothing, etc.**

* * *

"I'm going to get some food," Leo announced, dusting his hands down on his shirt, "I will literally be _two minutes_. Just sit. There." Leo aimed a warning finger at his son. Charlie smiled sweetly, but Leo knew better. The little demon sat before him had his mother's smile. "Touch nothing, no touchy."

"No touchy." Charlie agreed. Leo eyed him dubiously. "Chop chop, _Padre_ , I want food too."

"No touchy." Leo flicked two fingers from his eyes to Charlie one, two, three times, said "No touchy" again and backed out of the room slowly, hesitating at the door. Charlie shooed him away. Leo loved his son, but did not, under any circumstances, trust him. Charlie didn't blame him, but even he could manage two minutes of unsupervision?

He managed thirty seconds.

Started sifting through the messy work, glancing at blueprints, fiddling with tools and going through various inventions they had littered about. Most were unfinished or exploded, a couple lay untested because Charlie had put them together and Leo didn't trust them either. Charlie couldn't even remember what they were supposed to do, so he shrugged it off and moved onto the next shiny thing.

He found an orb. It was made of metal rings, like a one-way silver-coloured Rubik's cube, and hidden at the back. Leo had stuck a post-it note on it with a cross face and 'no touchy!' scribbled across the top. Charlie weighed it in his hand, not much bigger than a melon, as heavy as a bag of sugar and rippling his reflection across the rings.

With a glance over his shoulder, Charlie determined his dad was going to be a little longer than literally two minutes, so he twisted the first ring. All it did was click.

Pouting, Charlie tried the next ring. Another click. Three and four yielded the same results so he skipped to ten and turned it as far round as he could- _click-click-click-_ clunk.

"Oops." He muttered. "Don't tell me I've broken it." He gave it a shake and, when nothing rattled or feel off, he determined, "Not broken. So what do you do?" Another shake and he sighed. "Fine." He went to put it down, only to find it was glued to his fingers. "Off." He told it. "Oh no." Blue-white light flooded from the lines between the rings. Charlie had quickly learnt glowing objects were bad for legacies, very bad. He tried smacking it against the table quite a few times, somehow overbalancing and toppling from his stool. He crashed on the floor, wiggling and rolling. He wedged his feet on the contraption, trying to push it off.

When that didn't work, he had another idea- "Lose the hand." He decided, hopping up onto his knees and surveying his line of tools. He picked a hacksaw up, considering the blade. "Wait, what?" He asked himself. "You need the hand. It's not much use if it's stuck to a thing. But it's your hand!" He argued with himself for a minute and then cursed profusely, putting the tool down. That's when the blue-white light burned crimson. "Nope! Lose the hand, lose the hand, lose the hand!"

The ground seemed to open beneath his feet and he was falling. Swirls of reds, greens, blues, yellows and oranges flashed past him so quickly, motion sickness broiled his stomach. He tried closing his eyes, but didn't want to fall into any weird magic by surprise. He would fall into a bear trap. Or be turned into a ferret. Or- worse- a _toad_. He'd rather lose a hand than be a demon amphibian covered in warts.

Eyes wide open, screaming, Charlie fell and fell and fell some more. The screaming turned into some of his father's best Spanish curses, quickly into his mother's favoured laments; a blinding white circle was zooming closer. His fingers scrabbled for the mean orb, only to see it shimmer and disappear.

Arms over his head, Charlie plummeted. When no weird magic hit him, when he didn't croak, he peeked through a gap in his arms, wooden flooring appearing out of nowhere and crashing into him. "Ow." He groaned. Startled shouts filled the air, footsteps clattered all around him. Charlie could hear- _sense -_ machinery, so much of it, hundreds and hundreds of inventions and mechanics and gadgets flooding his system, making his head spin. He could hear masts creaking, the material of numerous sails flapping in the sharp wind, the whir of thousands of oars rowing in perfect unison.

More shouting threw out his reading of this new place. Most of the voices died down as someone else shouted louder, the whine of a bowstring pulled taut. Charlie looked up instantly, recognising that voice in a heartbeat.

He was on the Argo Two.

And his teenage mother was aiming an arrow at his head.


	2. Chapter 2

"Get up." Louisa ordered. Charlie blinked at her, trying to compute what the heck was going on, startling to his feet as fierce anger flashed across her features.

"I'm up." He squeaked.

"Who are you 'n' where'd ya come from?"

"Um… I'm, uh…" Charlie couldn't exactly say ' _I'm your son from the future, don't shoot',_ glancing around nervously. He did a double-take upon seeing his father; Leo was watching him from beside the console, hand hovering mid-swing of a Wii remote. "Um, I'm him." Leo's brow furrowed, even more confused than before.

"But your eyes are green." Piper remarked.

"Yes. I know. I'm… I'm from an alternate dimension where my eyes are green. And, uh, I go by Charlie."

"Charlie?"

"Nah. Leo's better than Charlie." Leo shook his head and went back to the one thing that didn't make his head hurt- his ship. "Wait, what? Alternate dimension where my eyes are _green_? That's… stupid."

"Agreed." Jason appeared, tapping the flat of his blade on Charlie's shoulder. "I'd've thought that people from an alternate dimension would be… I don't know, the opposite gender or a cat or something. Hey!" He protested as Louisa barged him to one side. Charlie went cross-eyed as the arrowhead faced him two inches from his face.

"So, Leo-not-Leo, how'd ya get here?"

"I was… playing with an old invention and it sort of brought me here. You know, I'm not entirely sure how it worked or, uh, where it went, but I'm here now, so… yeah, so, hi." He waved and smiled sheepishly. "Could you put the arrow down, it's, uh… well, it's not making me feel better."

"Lou." Charlie looked round too. His uncle stood there, holding Annabeth's hand. Frank and Hazel were further back, watching dubiously from a safe distance. Jason stood two metres from him, sword still in hand. Piper stood on Louisa's right with her hand on the archer's shoulder. Leo swung the remote and then set it down. Charlie could hear sails changing angle and then a series of clicks and clanks.

"Festus!" He grinned.

"You have Festus too?" Leo quizzed.

"I have his head. Sort of. Poor guy's been a bit deactivated the last few months, but I'm working on building him back up." Festus clicked some more. Leo tutted and shook his head.

"He wants you to build him a stronger body to attract the lady dragons. Festus, there are no lady dragons!" Festus whined. "No, you're the only automaton dragon we've got and you're a figurehead." The dragon proceeded to grumble. "Fine. There's a job for you," he looked back at Charlie, "build a lady dragon and bring her here."

"If I can get home, I will." Leo started to say more, his gaze sliding and then dipping. Louisa was glaring at him. She wasn't satisfied with Charlie's responses and hadn't even lowered the arrow.

"Lou." Percy said again.

" _What_?" She growled.

"You've been spending too much time with Hedge, stop it." Louisa swung her bow and the arrow skimmed Percy's head. "Thanks." Percy muttered.

"I'm sorry, but I ain't gonna trust random twelve-year-old boys jumpin' out of magic portals 'n' claimin' ta be that prat over there." She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. Leo pouted at the back of her head. Louisa threw a cold look over her shoulder and then glared at Charlie. "How'd we know you ain't some shape-shiftin' monster tryin' ta kill us from the inside?"

"Um…" Charlie mentally ran through everything he knew about his father. He started off with the obvious- setting his hand on fire. Leo grinned at this, flames dancing over his palm. Frank made a face at this. "Hey, don't worry. I won't put your stick in any trouble, promise."

"You-?"

"Yeah, I know. We're best buds where I come from." Charlie grinned wickedly.

"I have trouble believing that." Frank muttered.

"So, you're me." Charlie started. Leo had come closer without him realising. "Just with green eyes and, uh… you're Charlie? How does that work?"

"Eh." Charlie shrugged. "Alternate dimensions are weird." He saw the doubt still simmering behind Louisa's temper, so he decided to pick something about each of them; "You're scared of snakes. You were born almost eighty years ago. You've got a bit of driftwood that your life depends on. You wish you had darker hair so people would take you more seriously; you're struggling with your Roman-Greek identity, all your food has to be blue, you can speak fluent French and you are insane." He finished, smirking at his dad. Leo grinned.

"Damn straight. I think you can put that down now, Lou."

"If he tries to kill us-"

"You'll get there first, I'm sure." Leo squeezed his friend's shoulder and the bow vanished. Charlie let out a breath he realised he wasn't holding and then smiled at them all. She glowered at Charlie for a moment, a look that made his stomach flip- his mama never gave him a look that ferocious, he didn't like it, he wanted to run and hide, but he couldn't. Leo could take that look and crack a joke. Charlie could at least stand and take it.

Louisa stomped out shortly after, muttering to herself in a tirade of curses. Leo bit his lip and looked to Annabeth.

"I have a question." The blonde admitted, scrutinising look locked on the newcomer.

"Shoot." Charlie agreed.

"Lou reckons you're about twelve, yes or no?"

"I'm nearly thirteen."

"So yes." Annabeth concluded. "What I don't get though- our Leo didn't know any of us when he was twelve. How come you do?"

"Uh… alternate dimension stuff? I don't know, this place is weird. Where I come from, you bake cookies for me, Frank's my best friend and Percy actually had a good idea the other day."

"What'd you mean?" Percy argued instantly. "I always have good ideas."

"Yeah, jumping off of national monuments isn't a good idea."

"I don't- you shush. Gods dammit, I don't want two Leo's."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Leo smiled, considering his doppelganger. "Besides, I'm quite enjoying the height difference." He waved his hand from his head to at least a foot above Charlie's. Charlie flailed his hands to sway Leo's and stuck his tongue out.

"I've got to be, what? Five years younger than you? The height difference is natural."

"Still enjoying it." Leo shrugged. When Charlie continued to sulk, he laughed and ruffled Charlie's hair, a very brief look of confusion flitting through his eyes. Charlie smiled, jumping to bop Leo on the head and then making a run for it. "Hey! You little shrimp, get back here!"

* * *

"You look happy." Nico remarked.

"New kid." Louisa pointed.

"Oh. I thought Leo's inventions had backfired and shrunk him again." Nico hummed. Louisa pointed again." Oh. Oh, I see. What happened?"

"Apparently, short-Leo is from another dimension. Where he has green eyes 'n' goes by Charlie rather than Leo. Seems ta know a lot 'bout us, but I still don't trust him."

"If it's Leo from another dimension, why would you trust him? I barely trust the Leo we've already got, he's mental." Louisa didn't reply, picking at her lip. Nico patted her shoulder, watching Charlie carefully. He didn't have a tool belt, like Leo did, yet- despite the aforementioned differences- he was literally a carbon copy. He and Leo were juggling fireballs between them, exchanging jokes and friendly insults like they had done this a million times. "What are you thinking?" He asked his cousin. Louisa started chewing her thumbnail. Her eyes were glazed over, thoughts whirling. Nico gave her a minute and then left her, approaching this Charlie.

"Nico!" He grinned. The fireballs vanished and Charlie was suddenly hugging the son of Hades. Stunned silence filled the room. Percy glanced at Leo, to his sister, worrying at his lip as she stood. Nico tensed, working through a series of emotions and thoughts as Charlie squeezed the life from him. "Last time I saw you, you were jumping out a window!" Charlie let him go and laughed. "Aww, your face! Trust me, you're a bit more accepting of hugs in the other place."

"You what?" Nico demanded, brushing himself down. "Are you for real?"

"Um…" Charlie patted his arms, his front and then his face. "Yes? I feel real, I mean- oh wait. No, OK, you're still- right, no, that makes sense." He stuck his bottom lip out for a moment and then cackled, slugging Nico in the shoulder playfully. "You grow to love me, don't worry."

"I don't think I will." Nico muttered, punching Charlie back a little- lot- less playfully. Charlie didn't seem to notice the hostility, suddenly realising everyone was staring at him as if he had a death wish.

"What? Is there something on my face?" He squished his face between his palms, blew a raspberry and then went back to juggling fireballs with Leo, humming merrily to himself. Louisa moved forward, recognising the tune. She had introduced Leo to Fall Out Boy and now she had some questions for herself.

"What am I like where you come from?"

"Pretty much the same." Charlie told her. "Although, I can't think of trying to shoot me."

"Oh, she's always trying to shoot me." Leo smiled cheekily at Louisa. She smirked sarcastically, not impressed. Charlie scrunched his nose, mimicking her expression exactly. Leo faltered and missed Charlie's fireball, spluttering as it smacked him in the face.

"Dude, you OK?" Jason asked.

"My schnoz." Leo mumbled, hands over his nose.

"You big baby," Charlie teased, "you don't burn."

"It's the thought that counts."

"That doesn't… really apply, that's… you know what, OK. It's the thought that counts, whatever floats your goat." Charlie shook his head. "Nico, you look peaky. Let me make you pie, I'm really good at pie." He linked arms with Nico and smiled once more. Leo looked from his counterpart to Louisa, back and forth. Charlie noticed and poked Louisa's shoulder. "He can't decide who's better looking. Me, obviously. I mean, how can you not love this?" He gestured at himself. Nico tried working his arm free; his captor noticed immediately and laughed wickedly. "Nope! This way!"

"Hey, no! Lou!" Nico called. If Leo- of any kind- was being annoying, Louisa was the best repellent. "Lou, I will kill him!"

"No you won't." Charlie defied. "You want pie."

"Leo doesn't make pie, he makes mess!"

"That's not true!" Leo huffed. "Well, it is true, but I could make pie! I'm better at cakes than pies, but I could do it! Wait for me!"

"No!" Nico tried to break free again. One Leo was more than enough. He was _not_ getting lumbered with both of them. " _Lou_!"

"Gods above, Nico, alright. Drama queen."

"I heard that."

"Good."

* * *

 **What would you do if you went back in time and met your teenage parents?**


	3. Chapter 3

Charlie had to bunk with Leo that night as no-one else wanted to spend the night with _another_ Valdez. Leo was thrilled- he now had a friend he couldn't burn and that got his jokes _and_ was into inventing and mechanics as much as he was. Charlie felt a little weird having to share a room with his teenage dad, quickly reminding himself he was supposed to be twelve-year-old Leo from another dimension.

"Apparently I have the tendency to sleep walk," Charlie told him, "so if I wander off, check the kitchen first, I'm normally after food."

"I sleep walk. Don't get far though, I can't get the door open." Leo shook his head. "So, if you're twelve, are the others twelve too?"

"Twelve, thirteen." Charlie lied. "Hazel's, like, a million. Pretty sure Nico's reverted to being a toddler, so immature."

"Nico?" Leo queried disbelievingly.

"You'd be surprised how stupid he can be. Spending too much time with the likes of us."

"Huh." Leo considered this for a moment. Charlie decided to test the camp bed Leo had dug up, finding it comfier than he had expected. "I thought Nico was deadly serious, like, as a given." Charlie hunched his shoulders and smiled simply. "How did you get here?" Charlie explained again, being careful to not make any reference to his being Leo's son or from the future or anything like that. If he screwed up the timeline, he could accidentally make himself non-existent. Or a toad. Leo asked him to describe the invention. Charlie did as best he could, but his father knew nothing like it.

"Strange." Leo remarked. Charlie nodded in agreement, feeling a little put out. "Hey. Maybe it will reset itself and you'll go back. Or, if you're like me, everyone will be-" Leo faltered, brow furrowing. "Will totally be clamouring to get you back." He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. Charlie remembered his mother telling him about this- Leo viewed himself as the best and worst thing in his unusual little world. On the Argo Two, despite that he had built it, Leo had felt side-lined.

Charlie made to speak, to reassure Leo that his doubts were delusional, when a knock broke the saddened look on Leo's face. It was more of a series of punches than knocks and then Louisa stood in the doorway.

"Valdez, there's a flashy thing on the thing."

"Um…" Leo replied brilliantly.

"It's a flashy red light thing on the round thing with the levers around it."

"Oh. No, that's just Festus, he's checking the systems still work as they should."

"Oh. OK." Louisa glanced at Charlie and started chewing her thumbnail. Leo stood and reminded her she was on night watch. "It's borin'." Louisa grumbled. "Festus keeps talkin' ta me, but I ain't got a clue as ta what he's sayin'."

"He's probably singing again."

"Is that the screechin' thing he does?" Leo nodded. "I'm in half a mind ta pull the plug, makin' me ears bleed."

"Stop being dramatic." Leo smiled. Louisa tutted at him- _you're one to talk-_ and flounced off. Leo rested his hands on the doorframe, leaning through to watch her go. Charlie recognised the look on his face then- he saw it all the time at home.

"You really do like her."

"Huh?" Leo came back in, pushing the door shut. Charlie repeated his observation and Leo was suddenly red-faced.

"I-" Charlie stopped himself. He had seen his parents happy and married and full-on Leoisa. He didn't know anything of when they were just friends except that Leo had been smitten from day one. "I heard Piper talking about it with Jason, but… I can it on your face, you really _really_ like her." Leo sighed.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "Yeah, I do. I don't have much hope for it, but it's there."

"Well… I wouldn't give up."

"What?"

"Don't give up?"

"Why?"

"I… have a higher power and I, um, I know these things." Leo blinked at him. Charlie smiled, suddenly excited to see their relationship develop himself.

"Yeah, OK." Leo shook his head and flicked the lights off. "Even by my standards, you're weird."

"And?"

"Touché."

* * *

Charlie kept a close eye on his parents after that. Louisa didn't seem to trust him, still not happy that he had gotten past her defences, but she didn't flat out ignore him, which- according to Percy- was good. "Be grateful she isn't trying to kill you."

"Where I come from, I'm her favourite and she'd never be so mean." Charlie nodded seriously, pouting when Percy snorted.

"Yeah, sure." Percy patted him on the head and left to torment Jason. Charlie stuck his tongue out as Percy disappeared down the hall and then ventured into the kitchen-diner-living-room-mish-mash Leo still couldn't think of a name for. He and Louisa were playing ping-pong across the table. Annabeth was making herself a coffee, Hazel, Frank and Nico had crashed on the bean bags in the opposite corner and Piper was dancing around Annabeth, waiting to steal her breakfast croissant.

"Who's winning?" Charlie asked.

"It's a volley." Leo muttered.

"That means ya losin', Valdez." Louisa smirked.

"You cheat!" Leo accused. As if to prove his point, she whacked the ball as hard as she could, putting a spin on it. Leo didn't even try to get it, wincing when it zipped over Annabeth's head and landed in her coffee.

"My turn!" Charlie called before his aunt could brain Louisa. He swapped places with Leo. Louisa had another ping-pong ball ready, eyeing him curiously. "I always win where I come from." He grinned.

"We'll see." Louisa replied calmly. She served deadly. Charlie inwardly smiled and sent it straight back. He had spent years battling his mother over this game, he knew how to play her.

Louisa didn't seem fazed that he was playing as mean as she was. The others were watching, spellbound. Leo looked confused- he was _alright_ at this game; Charlie had unlocked ping-pong witchcraft.

After a few minutes of quick-fire volley, Annabeth popped up beside the table, frowning at Charlie. "Hello?" Charlie quizzed, glancing at her quickly.

"You play left-handed."

"I am left-handed."

"Leo's right-handed."

"Uh…" Charlie faltered and the ball whizzed past his paddle, bouncing away and rolling under the fridge. "Alternate dimension thingy, right?" Annabeth didn't look convinced. "Hey, alternate dimensions are messed up. I've been to one where were all fish." He looked his future aunt up and down, folding his arms. "I prefer you as a koi. And you took advantage, I was distracted! Stop victory dancing!"

"Nope." Leo smirked. Charlie made a face at her, scrunching his nose. Louisa stuck her tongue out and challenged Hazel to a game.

"No."

"Why?"

"You play dirty, no."

"Fine. Nico?"

"OK." Nico rose and stretched. Louisa had another ball. Charlie was sure she was magicking them up. Nico stood next to him all of a sudden, making him jump. "Hi." Nico held his hand out for the paddle. Charlie passed it over, the son of Hades' fingers like ice on the back of his hand. Nico started, snatching the paddle- and his hand- away.

"What?" Charlie frowned, confused.

"Uh…" Nico was giving him an odd, calculating look. "Uh, you're a little on the warm side."

"Oh." Charlie looked at his fingers. "Yeah, that happens. Sorry." He smiled sheepishly. Nico grimaced/tried for a smile, waiting for Charlie to move before taking Louisa up on her game. Leo was waiting for his counterpart, smiling warmly, but still trying to figure him out. "What?"

"No, it's- nothing." Leo shook his head again. "Come on, let's go and see Festus."

* * *

 **I do have an idea for this, I just want to bridge the gap because I really want to play with this idea. If you've got any suggestions/requirements/etc. give us a shout! ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

"I made pie!" Charlie announced, holding the tray over his head proudly.

"But I made cake." Leo mumbled.

"Oops. My bad." Charlie smiled sheepishly. Leo had a triple layer chocolate cake sitting in the centre of the table. Charlie had an apple pie, still steaming gently from the oven. "Pie for later!" Leo smiled at that and carried on serving cake. Percy and Annabeth took their portions to go, heading out to sit and watch the world go by. Frank and Hazel were dutifully sharing their slice- Leo had turned into a major Frazel shipper- while Piper hissed at Jason and guarded her cake on pain of death. "So romantic." Charlie smirked. Jason grumbled in agreement, attacking his dessert. Leo gave Charlie a plate and then called down the table to Louisa and Nico.

The cousins were whispering, heads bowed together. Louisa didn't seem happy with what Nico had to say, jabbing the table angrily with her forefinger. Nico shook his head and said something else, something dismissive, sitting up and folding his arms.

"Fine!" Louisa retorted, sharply throwing her hands up. "I would like cake, Leo, lots of it."

"Way ahead of you." Leo smiled, presenting a much larger slice to her. "Want some, Nico?"

"No, thank you."

"You didn't have lunch though." Leo worried. Nico glowered. "I'll save you some. Hey, Charlie, I just realised. You haven't met Coach yet. Have him where you come from?"

"Sort of." Charlie knew Hedge as his gym teacher. Leo collected a final portion and led Charlie out.

"Coach?" Leo called, knocking on a rather battered looking door. "Coach, I bring cake, don't kill me."

"Is it good cake?"

"Valdez special." Leo confirmed with a grin. The door opened. Coach was wearing his karate gear, Bruce Lee paused on-screen.

"Th- DIE!" The bat appeared, Charlie startled, darting behind Leo, who was yelling for the satyr's attention. "WHO ARE YOU, WHO IS THAT, WHY-?"

"He's me from another dimension." Leo explained calmly. Coach spluttered angrily. "I'll explain later."

"My cake." Leo looked round at the small voice and started laughing. In his panic, Charlie's cake had gone flying, now stuck to the ceiling, plate included. "I wanted that." He stuck his bottom lip out and eyed the satyr unhappily. Coach was about to take a big bite of his slice, freezing when he saw the colour of Charlie's eyes.

"You smell like smoke." He remarked, sniffing some more. "And the sea. Who are you again?"

"Charlie Valdez."

"Charlie? I thought he was you from another dimension, gods help us all."

"Firstly, yes. He's Charlie, twelve and has green eyes. Secondly, roll back the attitude or no cake ever again."

"If he's you, why does he smell like the ocean?"

"I fell in." Charlie tried.

"No you didn't." Coach leant closer, sniffing. Leo was watching, confusion coming back in massive tsunami waves. "You also smell like pie. _Apple_ pie. There's _pie_?"

"For later." Leo deadpanned, furrowing his brow as he looked Charlie over. He made to say something when a large dollop of chocolate cake landed with a splat on Charlie's head. They all stood, stunned for a moment, and then Coach cracked up laughing. Leo looked amused, hiding his smile behind his hand. Charlie fumed quietly, but at least their attention was elsewhere.

* * *

It didn't take long for Nico to peg that Coach found Charlie suspicious. The others did a double- and triple-take upon seeing them conversing somewhere to one side. Louisa was annoyed with them as they clearly knew something and weren't sharing. This encouraged her to grill Charlie, asking him all kinds of questions about his family, his friends, his world, trying to catch him out on any little thing. It was only when Leo got back from seeing Festus did she leave Charlie alone.

"Are you OK?"

"She's scary."

"Yeah. I know she's just making sure we're safe and all, but there are other ways about it."

"I can hear you!"

"I know!"

"Fight me!" Louisa stomped back. Leo turned to face her full-on, crossing his arms over his chest. "Don't get all high 'n' mighty with me, Valdez! Somethin' ain't right with him!" She gestured violently at Charlie.

"I don't have a problem with him."

"Of course _you_ wouldn't. Dumb and Dumber." She muttered.

" _I can hear you_." Leo mimicked. Louisa glared. Leo leant forward slightly, getting at her eye-level, and smirking. "Two can play that game."

"Not a game ya wanna play."

"Try me." Leo challenged. Charlie instinctively took a step back. The next thing he knew, Leo had been flipped over Louisa's shoulder and pinned to the floor, arms behind his back and face squished to the floor. "Touché." He muttered against the floorboards. "You're not getting cake either."

"Diddums."

"Um…" Charlie tapped Louisa on the shoulder. "I think his arms are coming out of their sockets."

"Yep." Leo agreed. Louisa didn't let go. Leo sighed. "No."

When Louisa didn't move, Charlie moved around her, jabbing her sharply in her side. He and Louisa shared the same pressure points and any poking in their stomachs or sides and Leo could get them. It worked like a charm; Louisa startled away, fists up, ready to fight. Leo rolled onto his back and sat up, rolling his shoulders. "Wait, what? What did you do? Ooh, no, don't pick a fight with Lou, she'll skin you alive." Charlie just smiled. His mother had taught him to fight, had taught them all to fight. He knew her style. "Percy!" Leo called. "Percy!" When Percy didn't appear, "Coach, get your bat. No!" Leo made a grab for Louisa, but she ducked around him and charged Charlie, instinctively swinging with her left. Charlie dodged left and grabbed her wrist. She spun, bringing her right elbow up to connect with his head, he ducked under her arm and twisted, flipping her over his shoulder. He didn't pin her like she had Leo, letting her get back up and smiling cheekily.

"What?"

"In my dimension, I'm a ninja."

"You what?" Leo and Louisa stared at him.

"It's true. I get all sorts of stabby shiny things and kick butt ninja action. Dammit, I sound like a TV commercial." He shook his head and playfully slugged Leo in the shoulder. "Ooh, hey. I'm being stared at from all directions." The others present were indeed staring at him- only Annabeth could get a one-up on Louisa.

"Pretty sure you're an alien." Frank commented.

"Probably." Charlie shrugged. "At this point, nothing would surprise me. Hey, is there any cake left?"

"There's some in your hair." Leo pointed out blandly; this other version of him was making his head hurt.

"Is there any cake left that hasn't been on the ceiling or my head?"

"No. Lou ate it."

"It's nice cake!" She protested.

"Thank you!" Leo argued back good-naturedly. "But you _pig_!"

"Fight me."

"No."

"Chicken."

"Getting the beginnings of a farmyard here, Lou. Who's the cow?"

"Nico."

"Duck?"

"Frank."

"Horse?"

"Percy."

"You just want your brother to be made into glue, don't you?"

"Your words, not mine."


	5. Chapter 5

**I know the first bit is pants, but I just wanted to fill the gap before my idea at the end ^_^**

* * *

Charlie's pie caused a problem as well. He had perfected his mother's recipe, apple pie being the only thing she could make without unleashing hell, but- in his excitement- he had forgotten that Louisa's pies were better known than his.

"It's not the only recipe for apple pie in the world." He reminded them.

"But you even decorate it like Lou does." Percy poked his pie and frowned. Charlie simply shrugged and said he and Louisa clearly shared a pie muse. Louisa didn't touch the slice of pie he had given her, having the last of Leo's cake instead. Leo was quite happy eating Charlie's creation, although he did question why it was like Louisa's. "Does Lou make pie where you come from?"

"When she's in a good mood."

"I'm always in a good mood." Louisa retorted, stabbing her fork in her cake. The prongs screeched on the plate, making Charlie cringe.

"You're in a good mood as much as Nico is. Sorry, Nico," Hazel squeezed her brother's hand, "but it's true." Nico muttered. He too was eating cake; Leo seemed pleased that his cake was remembered (and favoured over Charlie's pie).

"Be careful what you say, Hazel. Lou and I are going for world domination."

"Damn straight." Louisa agreed, sharing a high five with her cousin. Leo sulked. "What?"

"I thought that was our plan."

"You'll be there too." Louisa promised.

"As the court jester." Nico added.

"Oh, ha ha, Nico, very funny." Leo stuck his tongue out. Nico and Louisa were seriously considering this new idea. Leo grumbled in Spanish; Charlie recognised a series of swear words, smiling to himself. "I'm not giving either of you cake anymore."

"Liar." Louisa replied instantly.

"Fight me."

"OK."

"No, that was rhetorical! Percy-control-your-sister! Ow! Ow ow ow ow, mercy, uncle, ow." Louisa had Leo pinned again, arms behind his back as though he was being arrested. "Oh, why am I even friends with you? I don't get friendship, I get bruises."

"Ya gonna get broken bones if ya don't shut it."

"Fair enough."

* * *

Like most nights, Leo was the last one up. Louisa and Percy were racing each other around the ship, playing a rather violent game of Tag. Annabeth was sitting on the railings, reading a book and waiting for them to tire themselves out. The others had settled down for the night- or as best they could with the twins charging about like lunatics. Charlie wasn't brave enough to sit on the railings like her, so he stood in the doorway of the mish-mash room, watching his mother and uncle try and trip each other and throwing insults back and forth like the big children they were. Leo was in the control room. He had put an announcement over the speakers- "Please round up any loose mad people as I am clocking out soon, thank you." Annabeth paid his voice no heed, casually turning the page in her book. Charlie stood back as Louisa tackled Percy. They rolled and started wrestling the other, right in front of the blonde, who was still paying them no attention. "Annabeth." Leo's voice called over the PA system. "That includes you, Annabeth. They've had their day out of the loony bin, I think we've all had enough."

Annabeth tucked her bookmark in place, closing the large, leather-bound book and holding it straight out in front of her. Louisa had her brother in a head-lock. Annabeth let the book drop and the twins looked up at the loud _thud_ , confused. Percy raised a brow at his girlfriend. She gave a sweet smile and fell back. Panicked yelling filled the corridor and Percy quickly followed her. Louisa and Charlie were leaning over the railings. Percy had Annabeth by the shoulders, giving her a right telling off for giving him a heart attack. Charlie glanced at his mother sidelong, seeing her orchestrating the whirlpool the couple were slowly rising on, fierce look of concentration having replaced the blind panic.

"Grounded, you are grounded," Percy was saying, "grounded 'til your dead and then grounded for the afterlife."

"Stopped you two fighting." Annabeth shrugged.

"Ya tryin' ta kill us, Blondie?" Louisa demanded, hauling them back on board. "I say we lock her up in a tower somewhere, that'll keep her outta trouble."

"That won't work." Annabeth commented. "I'm off to bed now." She stood on her toes to kiss Percy goodnight, smirked at Louisa and ruffled Charlie's hair as she passed.

"I'm filing for divorce." Percy grumbled.

"Yeah, OK." His sister rubbed at her face. "I can't take anymore today, I'm off. Night, bro. Night." She nodded at Charlie and ran after Annabeth.

"What happened?" Charlie startled violently and crashed into Percy. Leo snickered. "Ah, I love making you jump. Anyway, why are you filing for divorce?"

"Annabeth tried to kill herself."

"You what?" Leo demanded.

"Ooh, she's left her book." Percy sighed, stooping to gather the novel. He chased after the other two, leaving Leo with Charlie.

"I love straight answers." Leo muttered. "You look beat." Charlie hunched his shoulders. Leo messed his hair, still confused as to why he had picked up this habit, but getting used to it now. He had quickly learnt to make sure Charlie was bunked in for the night before he was- his small counterpart had the habit of getting in the wrong bed. "Come on, bed time. Stop whining, you big baby." Leo took Charlie by the elbow, marching off with the latter plodding along behind him, yawning into his hand.

Half an hour later, they were both still awake. Charlie was drifting in and out of sleep, so he was capable of conversation, but it wasn't whole-hearted or completely coherent. "Charlie, I have to ask you something."

"No, I will not marry you."

"Not that kind of something, doofus." Leo shook his head. "I mean… you said about that higher power you had." Charlie had to think for a moment. "About… uh, me and, um, me and Lou. What makes you think you've got a higher power? What are you like with Lou in your dimension?"

 _Uh oh, don't go there_ , Charlie's brain warned, _that's awkward_.

"Um… well, she's very… Lou. I don't know, I'm twelve. Emotions are weird." Charlie heard Leo sigh, the rustling of bedding as he moved about and got comfortable on his front. "I just know." He added quietly.

"Thanks." Leo muttered into his pillow. He didn't say anything else. Charlie waited for him to, eventually dozing off. Leo lay awake, listening to the boy's soft snoring. The scarlet numbers of his digital clock burned into his eyes. He rolled onto his side, facing the wall. Maybe Charlie really was crazy and he had no idea what the future held. Or, maybe, he was just trying to be nice and booster Leo's spirits. Whichever one, it didn't fill Leo with much confidence. He would give anything to have the courage to ask Louisa out, but she would say no and then that would make their friendship weird; Leo didn't want to break the one thing keeping him fixed.

A soft creaking and socked feet padding across the floor pulled him from his dark musings. Light from outside flooded Leo's side of the room and Charlie stumbled off down the hall. Leo sighed, hurrying after his new roommate. Charlie went for walkies every night, always heading for the kitchen, as he had said. Sometimes he talked to himself too. Leo understood it if it was in English or Spanish, but the Greek and Latin eluded him. He just had to follow Charlie and make sure he didn't walk off the edge of the ship or head-first down a flight of stairs.

"Mmm…" Charlie hummed uneasily, crashing into the wall. He stopped for a moment, leaning there. Leo took him by the arm, helping him stand. "No, don't want banana. Go 'way." He swatted at something feebly, swaying the other way against Leo. "Gimme cake."

"You can have cake tomorrow." Leo told him. "I'll have to make some more though."

"Cake now."

"No. No cake now. Bed now."

"But hungry." Charlie's brow furrowed and he staggered off towards the kitchen. Leo rolled his eyes and followed once more. When he caught up, his charge was standing in the middle of the mish-mash room, unsteady on his feet and still snoring softly.

"Come on, Charlie." Leo tugged on his arm gently.

"Food."

"No, no food. Wait until the morning."

"Food now."

"The food has gone to sleep too, Charlie. You'll have to wait until the morning for breakfast."

"Oh. OK."

"Back to bed now." Leo said kindly, leading him out. Charlie pulled against him, tripping over his feet and landing on the floor. Leo crouched beside him, seeing a flash of green as Charlie squinted at him, bewildered. "Charlie." Leo tried. "Charlie, bed." The boy's eyes closed and he sighed.

"OK, _Padre_."


	6. Chapter 6

"You look like a racoon."

"Morning, Lou."

"Brought you coffee."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver." Leo gulped back several mouthfuls before remembering he had to breathe. Louisa was watching him carefully, twirling a loose lock of hair around her finger. "Keep this coming." Leo told her, raising the mug as if to toast her.

"What's wrong?"

"I… it was just a really weird dream I had and, well, it woke me up and I've been awake since."

"Liar. What really happened?" Louisa folded her arms stubbornly. Leo silently cursed himself- Louisa could smell a lie on him as easily she could motor oil or smoke.

"I don't even understand it myself." Leo admitted. He drained the last of his drink and held it out to her, requesting another. Louisa took the mug, but continued to stare at him. "Hey. There is nowhere near enough caffeine in me for weird conversations."

"Did that Charlie kid do somethin'?"

"No." Leo shook his head. She burned crimson, furious that he still had the nerve to lie to her. "No, Lou, I'm sorry. He did- look, it wasn't anything upsetting, it just… really confused me, that's all."

"What'd he do?"

"It doesn't matter. Coffee."

"Leo-"

"Coffee. Please." He added quickly as her glare intensified. "I asked nicely." She swore, snatching the mug away and storming off. Leo rubbed at his face tiresomely and looked back at the controls. "I'm digging myself a hole." He muttered. Festus clicked and whirred. "I said 'hole' not 'grave', shut up. Stupid dragon. Ooh, Annabeth's on line two. Greetings, Miss Chase."

"Leo, get here and sort out the other you!"

"What?"

"Now, Leo!" Annabeth cut off. Leo sighed, leaving Festus in charge of not steering them into any mountains. He traced the call to the mish-mash room, arriving in a few seconds to see Louisa had Charlie in a headlock. Charlie was struggling against her, Annabeth and Percy were trying to pry Louisa's arms from around his neck.

"Lou!" Leo hurried forward and, with his help, they got Charlie free. He inhaled deeply, taking a moment to catch his breath. Leo hauled him away, spinning him towards Piper and Jason before turning back to get Louisa in check. "Lou, what are you doing? I said he confused me, that's all. There's no need to go and kill him!"

"Dammit, Leo, he didn't _confuse_ you! I ain't stupid, I can see whatever he said upset you!"

"I'm OK."

"Stop _lyin'_!"

"Lou!" Percy warned, catching his sister by the wrist. "I'm sure there's no need to get so mad about this, right, Leo?" Leo made to nod, but her temper was burning white-hot, so he simply shrugged. Percy sighed. "OK then, what did Charlie do that 'confused' you?"

"It honestly doesn't matter; can we just leave it? Please?" When Louisa continued to fume, he tried something else: "I sent you out for coffee not homicide."

"Shut up, Leo."

"Hey, um, I'm confused too." Charlie held his hand up. "What did I do? I was just talking to Annabeth about jet packs and then she was trying to kill me. I've been good, promise!" Leo motioned to him, trying to reassure him. Louisa snatched her hand free and jabbed him sharply in the chest.

"If _you_ keep us this lyin' business, we're gonna have a serious fallin' out."

"I'm sorry." Leo bowed his head. Louisa glowered. "You still didn't get my coffee."

"I will kill you." She growled. Leo gave a small smile.

"Undoubtedly." He started to say something else when the alarms went off, red lights flashing. He could hear Festus clanking in warning. "Percy, give Lou her watch back. Annabeth, Jason, Piper take starboard. Percy, take Frank, Hazel and Nico portside. Lou-"

"Back you up?"

"Please."

"Course." Louisa smiled, summoning her bow.

"What about me?" Charlie asked.

"Um…" Leo hesitated. He couldn't look at Charlie without the word _padre_ bouncing over and over in his mind.

"I want to help." The boy insisted. "I could back Lou up." He smiled.

"Um, yeah. OK. Control room." Leo led them out. The other two teams went their separate directions.

"What's goin' on?" Louisa quizzed. Leo didn't answer, crashing along the corridor. Festus was still talking to him, panicking that someone was messing with his controls. He barged in, Louisa aiming an arrow over his shoulder. "Ew." She remarked. Women with flaming hair and mismatched legs filled the room- Charlie guessed there was at least twenty. He had never seen so many _empousai_ in one place. They normally attacked in far smaller groups, two or three. He didn't like their odds. "Now." Leo flicked his arm and a wall of fire erupted before them. Louisa fired, reloading and shooting repeatedly, straight through the wall of fire. Dying wails echoed behind the roaring of flames.

Charlie could see Leo tiring, throwing his hands up and wrestling control over to him. He threw his left forward and the fire rocketed forward, rearing up as it did so. Bringing his hands down, Charlie dazed the dozen or so still standing. Louisa nocked three arrows, holding her tongue between her teeth in concentration. The arrows struck the floor and emitted deafening shrieks that made Charlie's ears ring. The she-demons closest to the weapons disintegrated immediately. The others fell back. Charlie let the fire die and then his mother charged into the room. Leo snuck around the edges, working his way to the control panel. Charlie followed him as the only weapon Leo had was a six-pound mallet from his tool belt. While it did knock the vampire-esque ladies back, it didn't despatch them. His small counterpart had two celestial bronze knives, darting in whenever Leo whacked them with the mallet.

Leo glanced back when a trio of demons screeched. Louisa was encased in a hurricane, wielding her sword, crashing back and forth like the storm she was. A fiery blur whipped past him, slashes of bronze and then an explosion of dust and ashes. Charlie shot him a pointed look- _pay attention_ \- and Leo rushed for the controls.

"Hey, donkey butt!" The lead _empousa_ turned, snarling and baring her fangs. Leo's mallet smashed into her face and she fell back. Leo pocketed the tool and hurriedly set to work resetting all the damage she had done, cursing in Spanish as Festus told him his hair looked like icy pancakes. Charlie stepped forward to rid themselves of her when Louisa was there, pushing him back.

"What-?"

"Louisa!" The _empousa_ was suddenly her glamorous-non-monster self and she beamed at Louisa like an old friend. "Last I saw you, you were running from the police! Oh, happy days!"

"Shut up, Kelli." Louisa snarled.

"Have it your way." Kelli shrugged. She melted into a puff of smoke, writhing in an orb for a moment. Louisa tried to slash at it, but it wasn't there, blasting at Charlie. He yelled and swatted at it. Louisa snapped her fingers and a gust of icy sea wind snapped the smoke up. Kelli's laughter rang thick and triumphant, the smoke disappearing with a flash.

"What?" Louisa released her power and scowled. Kelli had been a thorn in her side for a long time, she wanted nothing more than punching her face in.

"Um…" Charlie tapped her arm, "where did Leo go?"


	7. Chapter 7

Louisa turned the ship upside down looking for Leo. _Empousai_ had flooded the Argo, the boys were still a little dazed and the girls were mad as hell. It seemed the she-demons had attacked out of nowhere, made a complete mess of both the boat and its inhabitants, taken Leo and disappeared. The only thing they had on Leo was Nico saying, "He's not dead."

"He's not _here_!" Louisa shot back fiercely. Nico looked at her sadly. Percy stepped in then.

"We'll find him, Lou." The others agreed, trying to reassure her. Instead, she only got angrier.

"Then why ain't we stopped? Why are we still movin', why aren't we stayin' put in case he comes back to his _own fuckin' invention_?"

"We have to keep moving." Annabeth replied calmly. "I know you're worried about Leo, but we still have the quest to think about." Louisa told her where to shove the quest. Percy squeezed her shoulder sharply;

"Annabeth didn't cause the quest, don't take it out on her." Louisa glared over her shoulder, shaking him off and storming out. Piper sighed. Charlie figured what she was thinking, but said nothing, quickly hurrying after his mother instead.

"I'll help you look for him." He offered, smiling easily. Louisa fumed even more. "I know I'm not as good at tracking as you are, but I can help. If the scary demon ladies took him, then they would go home, right?"

"Caves." Louisa grunted. Charlie nodded. They stopped at the edge of the ship, a mountain range flowing by below them. "What did ya do that freaked him out?"

"If I knew, I'd have told you." Charlie surveyed the drop. "How are we going to get down?"

"Jump."

"And go splat on the side of a mountain? Not how I planned to go, but OK."

"Idiot." She muttered, fiddling with her watch. Charlie stepped back as her bow snapped into life. She showed him an arrow and he relaxed.

"Grappling arrow. Very nice."

"Ladies first." And she shoved him overboard. Charlie whooped delightedly, free-falling for a few seconds. She caught up in no time, hooking an arm around his middle. "Hold on." She told him, yelling over the winds. Charlie wrapped his arms around her neck, giving her ample opportunity to fire her special arrow. He watched the magic rope fly and unwind, tied to her bow. It kept going until the arrow lodged itself in the hull of the Argo Two. Their free-fall jolted to a slow descent. Charlie looked down as the mountain gradually rose up to meet them.

"Can we do that again?" He asked excitedly, slipping on a bit of snow.

"Maybe." Louisa unslung her quiver, rifling through her arrows. Charlie watched interestedly. She checked quite a few before finding the one she wanted. She stood and eyed him curiously. Charlie started to speak when she yanked a few of his hairs.

"Ow! Hey! Watch the hair, the hair is important!" She flipped him a 'be quiet' like, silently amused. The strands she had obtained- stolen- fell into a little slot in the arrow, a lid closing and sealing shut behind them. She shook it until it lit up with an amber fiery glow. Charlie hissed at it. "Glowing things are bad for legacies."

"Legacies?" Louisa puzzled. "We're demigods."

"Potato patato." Charlie shrugged, heart hammering against his ribs. "What does it do?" Louisa loaded it and aimed straight up. The arrow took to the sky with a shrieking whistle, dipping into the low hanging clouds. It emerged a moment later and bounced off Charlie.

"No." Louisa told it. The arrow shook itself and darted down the mountain. Louisa hurried after it. Charlie slipped trying to scramble after her, having to be caught by the scruff of his T-shirt. She opened her mouth to tease him, distracted by the arrow tapping her on the shoulder. "No. I thought you were going after Leo." A series of beeps whined from the projectile and it continued its course down. Louisa was more sure-footed than Charlie, having to catch him almost a dozen times before she realised she should probably hold onto him.

"I'm going to die." Charlie panicked. She had grabbed him by the back of the shirt this time, leaving him suspended and looking straight down a very rocky death.

"You ain't gonna die, ya big nancy." Louisa tutted and pulled him back up.

"Well, if the mountain doesn't kill me, your rescue tactics will." He rubbed at his throat and stuck his tongue out at her. Louisa rolled her eyes.

"What'd ya want, a piggy back ride?"

"If you're offering-"

"Do I look like a mountain goat ta you?"

"More like a nanny goat." Charlie muttered.

"I resent that remark. Next time ya fall, ya goin', understood?" Charlie smirked. Louisa looked tempted to push him down herself. If it hadn't been for her tracking arrow beeping excitedly, she probably would have. She disappeared, hopping neatly from ledge to ledge and vanishing from sight.

"Hey!" Charlie called. "Hey, not funny! I can't get down!"

"Suffer!" She called back.

"When we find Leo, I'm telling! Oh good gods, I really am going to die." Charlie went slowly and carefully, making it to about the third ledge she had bounced off of before slipping and tumbling. He frantically tried to grab onto anything, fingers sliding on snow. He must have yelled at some point as Louisa returned, torn between laughing and strangling him. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him back up. "I think I will take that piggy back now."

"No."

"Don't leave me to die."

"I ain't gonna."

"You nearly did!"

"OK, tone down the squealin' 'n' I'll help. No piggy back though." Charlie sulked. Louisa started directing him down, left foot there, right hand here, don't look down, etc. It took a little longer than she would have liked, but they eventually made it to a lip. Her arrow had nose-dived the ground, the magic worn off, its final act to point them into a cave. "I don't get why they'd take Leo." Louisa admitted. "He's an idiot. 'N' he won't make much of a meal either. If they were hungry, they'd have taken Frank or Percy. Not some little matchstick like Leo."

"Hey." Charlie pouted. "Us matchsticks are amazing, shut up."

"Never said ya weren't. Just don't make any sense for 'em ta take the small pickin's."

"At least someone appreciates us."

"I will drop-kick you off this mountain."

"Fair enough. Ladies first?" He gestured towards the cave.

"Chicken." She shook her head. "Come on."

"You know, dark and ominous caves are just as bad for le- demigods as much as glowing objects are."

"Who told ya that?"

"You."

"I never- oh. From the other place, right?" Charlie nodded. "I sound like a right twat wherever you're from."

"I assure you, it's the opposite."

"Mm-hm."

"How about you go in and scope it out and if it's safe, call me. If not, I'll assume you've been eaten and head back."

"I'm goin' ta take that as a joke 'n' you're now goin' in first." She grabbed his wrist and swung him forward. Charlie staggered, tripping over his own feet and landing with an _oof_. "Ya been eaten yet?" Louisa called.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny." Charlie huffed, pushing himself up and dusting himself down. "You're freakishly strong, I'm staying away."

"Nah, you're stuck with me. Let's go 'n' find the other idiot. I'll try not ta kill you."

"That just fills me with confidence."

* * *

 **Just a little mother-son moment even if she doesn't know she is mother.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Ugh, this cave goes on forever." Charlie complained, dragging his feet and whining. Louisa didn't even offer a glance back.

"That's 'cos it's not a cave, it's a tunnel."

"Thank you for that insightful comment, Sherlock." Charlie deadpanned, making a face at the back of her head. Louisa turned at that, expression hardening challengingly. Charlie's mimic had frozen, busted, and then he righted himself and told her to go smoke a pipe.

"Shut ya face, Watson." She faced forward again. Charlie squished his face between his palms in response, gaining another bruise for being cheeky. Louisa was carrying a flare in her right hand, her sword in her left. Charlie had his left on fire, more for warmth and entertainment than anything else. He was getting quite good at make animals from the flames, although Louisa wasn't impressed. "I've a question for you." Louisa voiced, tilting the flare his way like it was a microphone. "I get why the arrow got you, but why'd it get me?"

"Um… because you're amazing, like me- it's such an obvious trait."

"Bull."

"I don't know, it was your arrow. How'd you expect me to know?"

"There's gotta be somethin' useful in that thick skull of yours."

"Rude." Charlie stuck his tongue out. "I have a question."

"Why?"

"Something to fill the silence as we trudge through the endless bleak tunnel and I slowly die of boredom and seeing as you asked me a question so it's only fair that I ask you one."

"Do you breathe?"

"No." She raised a brow at him, turning the flare this way and that as something skittered across the rocks. Charlie willed his fire to burn hotter, casting more light outwards. He startled violently as a shadow darted from the glow, heart hammering in his chest and making him feel stupid. "Rat." He pointed. Louisa called it a few unsavoury things and then they started walking again. The light behind them gradually shrunk until it was the size of a postage stamp. Charlie remembered his question then. He cleared his throat and Louisa sighed.

"What?"

"My question."

"Spit it out."

"Well… it's, uh… it's about Leo."

"What 'bout him?"

"You, uh… you know him pretty well." She gave him a 'no duh' look, the flare spluttering and throwing dark shadows back and forth her face. "He'll be OK, you know." The 'no duh' didn't move, simply vanishing in the shadows instead. "Except for when you catch up with him; please don't kill him for being kidnapped."

"Why'd ya say that like ya life depends on it?"

"Maybe it does. Who's to know?" Charlie hunched his shoulders. He couldn't see her face now; she was surveying their path. He let the fire in his hand die down a little, twisting the small flame around his fingers. Louisa started walking again. Charlie sighed and followed. He counted three hundred steps, the light from where they came had disappeared behind the distance and a series of bends. "Lou?"

"Mm?"

"You like Leo, don't you?"

"Course I like Leo. What kind of question is that?"

"No, I mean-" Charlie hesitated. Louisa threw a quizzical look over her shoulder. "Let's say, hypoteci- hyperthet-" He cursed in Spanish and stomped his foot. " _Hypo-the-tic-ally_." He stressed. Louisa snorted in amusement, hand shooting up to catch the piggy noise. "Shut up, I can't English. Anyway, insert mean word here, just consider that, but would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Um… how can I put this in a way that won't get my head ripped off?"

"You're bein' weird. Stop it or I'll hurt you."

"I don't doubt that."

"What d'ya want, kid?" She demanded hotly. Charlie started to speak, but a little voice in his head shrieked at him to keep quiet- _do not alter the timeline, don't give any spoilers, don't freak her out otherwise you'd never exist._ He snapped back to his thoughts, hearing something bounce off the rocky walls in clear distress. A yell, a scream. "Leo." Louisa was off like a shot. Charlie hurried after her, doing his best not to lose track of the jolting red flare. Louisa was faster as a teenager, it seemed. Maybe because she wasn't hanging back for Leo or one of her kids, even if one of said kids was tripping over himself to keep up. "Hey!" Louisa dared. "Hey, get away from him!" Empousai screeching rang in Charlie's ears. He started forward to help when a mad rush of she-demons filled the corridor before him. They considered him; some sniffed the air, some were pacing to and fro, some hissed at him, others looked particularly hungry. One tried her luck and lunged, getting incinerated on the spot.

"You smell of fire _and_ sea, boy." A second one stepped forward. Charlie readied his fire, ready to defend himself. She sniffed again, licking her lips. "I don't think we've had a legacy of Poseidon _and_ Hephaestus before. I imagine you taste quite tangy."

"Move." Charlie told her. "I'm not letting you stop me helping them."

"Them?" The empousa looked back and then smirked at him. "Oh, your parents. Right. Don't look so surprised, boy. We're quite clever." She waggled her fingers at him and cackled. "If you wouldn't taste so nice, I'd love to see your reaction to them finding out." She spun on her heel. "Oh, daughter of Poseidon! I have something interesting to tell you!"


	9. Chapter 9

**I am not dead, I have been working on this all weekend :D**

* * *

Louisa immediately whipped up a hurricane, charging through it as empousai were snatched up and chucked about like dolls. The one trying to reveal Charlie's secret got a punch to the face in response. Charlie blasted her with fireballs in quick succession, moving onto her sisters once she was gone. He set about clearing the tunnel, Louisa was unleashing stormy hell to keep them from Leo. The contrast between sea and fire made Charlie's head spin; as chaotic and as deafening as it was, it truly was a sight to behold. His fire burned around a storm brewing so violently in the heart of the mountain; sheets of rain turned to steam, spreading layers of mist that dampened the empousai's fiery hair and limited sight. The cyclone engulfed demons, mist and smoke alike, seemingly out of control until Charlie saw Louisa send it thundering towards a group of she-demons.

Fangs sank into Charlie's shoulder, their owner clinging onto his back like some demonised limpet. He cried out, more panicked than pained (doesn't mean it didn't hurt), his fire spluttering. The rain overtook the flames and the steam started to thin. Louisa stood in front of Leo, sword a bronze-gold blur as it cut down monster after monster. She had sustained several slashes and bites, mostly on her arms. She saw Charlie a second later, throwing out her free hand to scatter the demons before her with her gale. A knife jumped into her hand from her sleeve and it crashed through the air, skimming Charlie's ear and embedding in the empousa's forehead.

Charlie snatched the knife up and ran back in. He caught a glimpse of Leo then, seeing his hands shackled, seeing a massive scarlet stain drenching his shirt from a vicious bite in his neck. White-hot anger flooded his veins, the heat radiating into the small blade clenched in his fist. He raced forward, standing shoulder to shoulder with his mother, fighting alongside her like he had countless times before.

He was still buzzing when the last of the vampires went down under his fire, breathing heavily with flames dancing up and down his arms. Louisa bopped him on the head with the flat of her sword.

"Go 'n' keep a lookout." She ordered, turning to kneel in front of Leo. Charlie did as she said, knowing better than to argue. That didn't stop him watching from the entrance though.

Louisa put her hand on Leo's wound, stemming what little blood flow there was. Leo seemed pale, breathing ragged. With her left, Louisa drew a small canteen of nectar from her pocket, shifting closer to rest Leo's head on her shoulder. Charlie could hear the murmur of her voice as she tried to talk Leo round, not hearing her words. She lifted the canteen, gently helping him drink its contents. Charlie watched from the corner of his eye, not surprised to see her being so kind with Leo. He was the only one who ever received attention from the softer side of her. Everyone else was told to go away in typical Louisa fashion.

Leo coughed and spluttered, nectar splattering from his lips. His eyes opened, dazed, squinting at Louisa. He tried to speak, barely a sound rasping free. Louisa shushed him, placing his arm around her shoulders and slowly standing. Leo put a lot of weight on her, his legs offering very little in the way of support. Charlie hurried over and took up Leo's other side.

"You OK?"

"Does he look OK?" Louisa retorted hotly.

"Fine. Is he going to be OK?"

"Of course he is. I'm gonna look after him. Here." She pushed a square of ambrosia into his hand and sighed. "I hate cheerleaders."

"You're more like an angryleader." Charlie replied instantly, tasting his father's chocolate cake as he chewed on the godly food. Louisa glared at him. "I see you're feeling better."

"Fight me." She grumbled.

"I would, but I'm all fight-ted-ded out. No, shush, you don't get an opinion." Leo mumbled a reply, although Charlie was sure he had no idea what was going on. "How are we going to get back?"

"My dad is Poseidon. How'd ya think?"

Louisa made a massive storm right over the Argo. Charlie pulled a pair of binoculars from Leo's toolbelt and could see the crew running back and forth, looking for storm spirits. He started to laugh and then Louisa had them in a wave, straight back up to the ship.

"You're back!" Percy beamed, crushing his sister in a hug and unintentionally dumping Leo's unconscious form on Charlie's very much smaller one. Just as quickly as he was squeezing her insides, Percy dropped Louisa and gave her a sharp tap on the head. "Don't you _do_ that! Dammit, Lou! Hey, Charlie. Oooh, Leo…" Percy pushed past them and picked Leo up easily in a fireman's lift.

"He's had nectar." Louisa muttered, examining her arms. Charlie felt his neck, finding no trace of a wound save for the blood on his T-shirt. Percy told him to go and clean up, grabbed his sister's wrist and marched off. Annabeth joined them soon enough and they disappeared into the medical room.

"What happened?" Someone said. Charlie started, flames snapping from his hand.

"Frank!" He scolded good-naturedly, hastily apologising for nearly burning his friend's face off. "I'm getting you a bell, dammit." He spied Nico a few feet away, heart pounding against his ribs nervously under the obsidian glare. He started to explain carefully, making sure he revealed nothing of the empousa's idea to spill his true identity. "Basically, we kicked butt a lot, brought Leo back and here I am now telling you the story." He smiled, feeling heat prickle under his skin. Nico was still watching him, rather hawk-like, and Coach had joined him. They were both regarding Carlie like he was something slimy and vastly disfigured. "I'm going to change, I feel icky." He picked at his shirt, reminding them all of the drying bloodstain. "See you later." Charlie bounced off, pulling his T-shirt over his head as soon as he was in his and Leo's room.

Nico and Hedge were making him very uncomfortable; they're constant prying and unsettling staring was putting his nerves right on edge. He figured it wasn't much time until they ratted him out.

But they couldn't know for sure, right? It was only Charlie's eye colour and left-handedness that made him suspicious. And the fact that they didn't trust him, that Hedge could smell the ocean on him, maybe because he didn't have a tool belt and the age difference. Nico wasn't very trusting anyway, but having his hunch somewhat verified with the old satyr's input was not good for Charlie's blood pressure.

He rummaged through the supply of T-shirts in the room, finding the cleanest one he could and tugging it over his head with a sigh. He caught sight of himself in Leo's mirror- more of a buffed bit of bronze than a mirror, but still good.

Panic sliced through him like a sheet of ice. He was fading. Definitely fading. He heard shouting from a few doors away and then he was fine, he was solid.

He had to make sure Leo was OK. If anything happened to Leo…

In his rush, Charlie didn't stop to think; he bolted out the door and crashed straight into Nico. Charlie fell flat on his back. Nico glared down at him.

"Here's a fun question for you." Nico demanded, not even bothering to help Charlie up. "How come when Leo nearly slipped away just now, you almost did too? And don't give me any old rubbish about dimensions." Charlie started to speak, mind rushing at a million miles any hour for any excuse. His voice wedged in his throat when Nico's Stygian Iron sword came into play. "I want the _truth_. And if you know what's good for you, you'd tell."


	10. Chapter 10

"Lou, don't give him any more, he'll burn up."

"He's Leo, he don't burn."

"From fire, Lou. Not god food." Percy tried putting a hand on her shoulder, getting it harshly shrugged off. Leo was in such a critical state, despite the nectar and ambrosia in his system. "You heard what Annabeth said; he's lost a lot of blood. He won't survive enough nectar to restore that."

"Then do a transfusion." Louisa shot back. Percy looked to Annabeth.

"Way ahead of you, Lou." She said, examining the computer panels. Leo had set the medical room up with the help of the Apollo cabin- everything they needed to check anything was here and that included blood type. Annabeth had already put a sample of Leo's blood into the tester. "Just another minute and we'll start seeing if anyone matches."

"Does it really matter?" Louisa demanded. "Blood is blood." Annabeth started to explain, saw Louisa's temper reach boiling point and decided against it. Louisa turned a bright red in anger, stomping over, yanking her sleeve up and offering her arm to the blonde. "Check mine."

"Try and relax." Annabeth advised, seeing her friend tense up when the needle appeared. When Louisa didn't, Percy intervened, hugging his sister from behind.

"It's not going to kill you."

"Just get it over with, I hate the things."

"Agreed." Percy nodded, resting his chin on Louisa's head, knowing it would annoy her. Annabeth took advantage of this distraction.

"There. Done. Give me a minute to check it- I'm going as fast as I can. Keep an eye on Leo." Louisa returned to her friend's side. Percy moved to watch Annabeth work, wanting to push all the buttons and knowing he very much shouldn't. He tried once. She immediately smacked his hand away. "Nearly done, Percy. Then you can play with the buttons."

"You're the best."

"Tell me something I don't know." Annabeth glanced over at Louisa. "Percy, look." She whispered. Percy did. Louisa was holding Leo's hand in both of hers, jaw clenched stubbornly. She didn't notice either one of them watching her, too preoccupied, her eyes were watering. "You can't tell me she doesn't have feelings for him." The blonde breathed, glaring defiantly at her boyfriend when he started to protest. "Drop the protective big brother gig, Seaweed Brain, and open your eyes." The computer beeped, cutting off whatever response Percy had. "Oh. Lou?"

"What?"

"Lou, it's… you're not a match. I'll test the others- no, wait, get that Charlie kid. Percy, go and get Charlie, he has to be a match." Percy nodded. He reached the door, ducking back just as it was kicked in. "Nico?" Annabeth marvelled. "Oh, brilliant. Charlie, come here."

"Oh no, he doesn't." Nico growled. "You guys need to hear this."

"No, don't." Charlie pleaded. Nico had an iron grip on his arm, Stygian iron sword in the other hand, the point pressed to Charlie's neck.

"Nico, whatever it is, can it wait? Leo needs a blood transfusion ASAP." Annabeth waved for Charlie to come over. Nico wasn't having any of it. Louisa exploded then, screaming at Nico in Ancient Greek. Nico made to argue back, but she was no longer paying attention. Leo was murmuring, face crumpled. Louisa was back at his side, taking his hand again.

"Annabeth, do somethin'!" Louisa demanded fiercely. Leo's breathing was short, somewhat laboured.

"Look!" Nico instructed just as angrily, jabbing a finger at Charlie.

"So he flickers, big deal! Annabeth!" Louisa glowered. Seeing his sister close to tears, Percy went and hugged her again. Annabeth marched forward, shooing Nico to one side. "Leo, come on, don't be a prat." Louisa sniffed. Leo groaned, brow creasing.

"Lou…"

"Yeah, yeah that's me!" Louisa wiggled from her brother's embrace, pulling Leo into a hug. Charlie watched his hands return to normal. Annabeth stabbed him with a needle almost instantly, making him flinch. Louisa was still talking to Leo, words for only him to hear. Leo seemed to relax against her shoulder, still breathing funny.

Charlie stayed near Annabeth while she ran his blood through the computer. Nico was glaring at him, fists clenched. Charlie put the blonde between him and the Italian, doing his best to focus on the device before him. When he looked back up, Nico was gone. That should have brought him relief, but Charlie was beyond terrified.

He jumped when the computer beeped. Annabeth frowned, taking a step away from.

"Annabeth?" Percy asked. He had his pen ready. "What's going on?"

"He's not a match. He-"

"Let me guess." Nico was back. Everyone else was with him, although they looked confused as to why. "He doesn't match Leo. He matches her." They all followed Nico's point. It took a second for her to notice, but Louisa wasn't impressed to have all eyes on her. Charlie hid his face in his hands, but that didn't block out Annabeth's voice.

"He matches them both."


	11. Chapter 11

"Hold on, time out." Jason made a 'T' with his hands. "He matches them _both_? I thought- you said you were- what?" Nico butted in then.

"Tell them." He ordered. "Tell them what you told me."

"I… I can't, I- no, wait-" Charlie ducked back as Nico advanced, back hitting the wall. "Look, I've screwed up so much already, I can't… I can't say anymore, just please, wait, I- I- I can fix this, I'll-" He glanced at his parents. Louisa was holding Leo tightly, shielding him from whatever monstrosity Charlie was. She was glaring at him like he was the scum of the earth, like she knew he would cause trouble, angry that no-one had listened to her warnings. Leo was still comatose, but he did seem rather comfortable with his head on her shoulder.

"Nico, what the hell is going on?" Annabeth's tone was sharp and tough, stormy grey eyes flashing dangerously. Nico clenched his jaw stubbornly. "I have a pretty good idea already, but it doesn't make any sense." Her fury swivelled and landed on Charlie. He was still with his back up against the wall, hunching his shoulders and lifting his arms to protect his head. Annabeth's knife was in hand, a warning if he didn't start talking and soon. The others were arming themselves as well, no longer seeing Charlie as another Leo, but as a threat, even if he was the smallest one there, unarmed and trapped to the wall. "Start talking."

"No." Charlie defied, lowering his arms for a second to look her in the eye. "I can't."

"But you told Nico."

"'Cos I know he won't tell anyone else, he'll want me to tell and I'm not going to." Charlie shook his head. Annabeth started to speak. Nico shoved her out the way, rather unceremoniously.

"Hey!" She and Percy objected instantly. Riptide cut away Nico's blade and then the cousins were fighting. "Apologise!" Percy insisted. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Nico, but how _dare_ you treat Annabeth like that!"

"Stop it!" Piper tried getting between them, the charmspeak filling the air like a cloud. Jason and Frank pulled her back, Jason taking her place to try and separate them. "Boys!" Piper reprimanded. "Move away from each other, now!" The three did part, but it was mere seconds until Nico and Percy clashed again. Their weapons rang together, slashing through whatever magic Piper had produced. Hazel tried using the Mist to no avail. Annabeth was pulling on Percy's arm, insisting she was alright, asking him to stand down. They had bigger problems, she reminded him. "Percy, please!" Annabeth pleaded, launching her weight backwards and dragging him with her. She nearly toppled, Percy's arm locking around her waist and putting her upright. He kept her with him, watching Nico distastefully, sword at the ready.

Nico flexed his shoulder, having jarred it trying to deflect Percy's jab. He wasn't built like his cousin, the crossing of their swords sending white hot pains up his arm.

"You could stop this," he spat at Charlie, who stood, peeking through his fingers, "just tell them." Charlie stayed quiet, offering the minimalist of head shakes. Nico saw red and lunged. Then he saw green, lots of green, and it was pulling him back. He saw Charlie's face light up and then he saw more green disarming everyone else. The weapons were chucked to the other side of the room, Nico was dragged towards the door; he tried calling upon his shadows, recognising the sea energy. He could usually combat the twins' power, but not now, it was different, brighter and stronger, stubborner.

Still encased in the oceanic energy, he was brought face to face with its master, someone not much taller than him, wearing a red hoodie under a very familiar army jacket. He struggled, despite his better judgements, trying to see the face of his captor. There was a flash of a familiar wicked grin and then her hood went down.

"Mama!"


	12. Chapter 12

"Mama!" Charlie beamed. He charged forward, straight past Nico and everyone else gaping at him, right into his mother's arms. For a brief second, he thought he was alright, but Louisa was obviously mad at him.

"When he says no touchy, he means no freakin' touchy, he weren't gone long, why couldn't you have sat still 'n' not played with that whatever it was?! Dammit, Charlie! Ya had one job! Oooh, I could strangle you, I would if- where is that prat anyway?" She looked back out the door, sticking her fingers in her mouth and whistling sharply. She got a fire cat in reply. It hissed at her and then dissolved, leaving a minor burn on the floor. She put her hand on her hip, her left holding onto Charlie by the scruff of his shirt. Charlie wasn't getting away again. Not that he wanted to- his other option was certain death by teenagers. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his mother's waist and hugged her with no intention of letting go anytime soon. He was so happy to see her, even if she did want to strangle him, relieved that she had come back to get him, so overwhelmed at the sight of his mama that he wanted to cry.

Everyone was still in a state of shock when Leo rounded the corner, gorging himself on a packet of cookies. He stopped when he saw Louisa glaring at him, dropped the biscuits upon seeing his son, bouncing forward to initiate a group hug.

"Grounded!" He declared two seconds later. "I nearly died! I was getting food and all you had to do was sit still, I should've taken you with me! You're grounded until she forgives me for losing you!"

"Which will be never." Louisa pinched him sharply.

"It's not my fault he plays with shiny things. That's your department." Leo stuck his tongue out. Louisa looked ready to break him, so he recovered his cookies and carried on eating. "You're not getting one." He told Charlie. "These are mine, I'm stressed."

"Um, excuse me?" Annabeth found her voice first, waving at the newcomers. "Yes, hello. _What the heck is going on_?"

"Oh. Oh. Mmm. Oy, what'd you tell them?" Leo looked questioningly at his son.

"Um-" Charlie began brilliantly.

"Wait, hold up." Percy shook his head. "You're all seeing what I'm seeing right?" The others nodded. "He called you 'Mama', you're… you're her, but you're… old."

"Old _er_. Emphasis on the ' _er_ '." Louisa fumed. Leo snickered and started pointing out imaginary grey hairs. Louisa grabbed his fingers and bent them back until he pleaded mercy. She looked about the room, swearing colourfully. "Valdez."

"No, I'm injured."

"Ya dyin'."

"What? _Dios bueno_ , I am!" Leo started forward to help his younger self and then realised who was still holding him. He almost made a joke, ' _ah, you did care_!', but the words died in his throat. Louisa's past self was holding onto her best friend like her life depended on it. Leo knew full well that it wasn't her life she was worried about that- he could see it in her eyes, he had had years reading Louisa's eyes to gauge her emotions, he could see she wasn't going to let go of his unconscious form for anything. "Hey, I can help."

"Go away."

"Lou, it's me. I'm Leo."

"No. No, this is Leo, I don't know who you are."

"Um… oh gods, how do I put this gently?" Leo glanced back. His Louisa shrugged, more focused on making sure Charlie was OK. "Right, I'm sure they're cottoning on now," he waved vaguely at the others, "but, hello, it is I, your future husband." She started shaking her head. "OK, you're in shock. Tag, tag." He hissed.

"Hey," his wife pointed at him warningly, "we talked about the taggin'."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Hey younger version of my wife, you're going to love this story. When you go on a honeymoon with them, you get kidnapped by Luke trying to protect their kid and then stuff happens and you go missing for two months, but I won't go into details with that, it's just not good and then you come back and fall in love for ever and ever with the amazing Valdez you see before you now. That pretty much sums it up, right?"

"Yes, Leo." His Louisa deadpanned, still checking Charlie's head for injuries.

"Rewind." Percy said. "Honeymoon? Kid?" He glanced sheepishly at Annabeth, who seemed a little pink-faced.

"I'll explain later. Let me save me. Who's in charge of blood transfusions round here?"

"Hey. Hey. Wake up, you handsome devil."

"Stop it, you'll freak him out."

"Oh, he's going to freak whatever the weather. I don't think Frank's recovered. Though, I don't think I'd recover if I woke up to see myself baring down. Hey, I'm bored. Wake up." Leo grinned as his younger self squinted at him. "Hey, good-looking." It took a second and then younger Leo jolted, smacking his head on the headboard and then scrambling up, arming himself with a pillow and breath mints.

"What, what, what, who, how, what- Lou? No, wait, you're not- where's Lou, where's my Lou, Lou!" He called. "Lou! Demons, demons, _diablos_!"

"Calm down-" Leo tried, getting smacked in the face with the pillow. His counterpart was yelling for Louisa, waving fire when the Louisa before him stepped forward. He jumped off the bed when the door slammed open, running into teenage Louisa and crushing her in a hug. "Lou, help."

"It's OK-"

"Demons."

"It's us. From the future."

"What?"

"Charlie ain't you from another dimension, he's-" Teen Louisa stopped short. Older Leoisa was watching with a little too much attention; Leo was amused at Leo's reaction whereas Louisa seemed to be coming to terms with something.

"Charlie's what?"

"Um…"

"What?" Leo demanded, suddenly worried for his friend. Louisa wouldn't look him in the eye, oddly pink. "Lou?"

"I, um… I-"

"Ugh." Older Louisa rolled her eyes. She marched forward. Teen Leo yelped and clung to his Louisa. "Look, we're you two from the future 'n' Charlie's one of our kids. He lied to stop the timeline from bein' screwed up."

"W-wh-what?" Leo stammered. "You- Charlie- with-" In his panic, he let go of Louisa, but his hysteria drained in seconds, falling to his knees. Both Louisa's helped him back to the bed.

"Your turn." Louisa said to her husband.

"That's tagging." Leo replied, hands on his hips. "And you said we weren't allowed to tag."

"Just do it."

"Yes ma'am." The Louisa's left. Leo took up a seat and said, "I'm absolutely _beside_ myself to meet you."

"Not the time for puns, I feel sick." Younger Leo mumbled, hands over his mouth. Leo gave him a sick bag. "Is… is that true? Charlie is… he's… how?"

"Well, when mammy and daddy love each other very much-"

"Not helping."

"Sorry. You look a little green. How's Buford?"

"What?"

"Buford. The table. Steals clothes."

"I thought- weren't we-?"

"Look, I can talk about that, but you might throw up for real and I've had my fair share of sick, thank you very much." Leo considered the teen for a moment, suddenly realising how elfish and scrawny he had been before. Not that much had changed. "If it makes you feel better, she started it."

"What?"

"Well, she needed my help, but she kissed me first. Sort of. There was a near-kiss and then I kind of got her, but first proper mutually-agreed kiss was her doing."

"How?"

"Easy. You sort of put your mouth on hers-"

"No, I mean… _how_?"

"Oh thank gods. I couldn't remember how hopeless I'd been as a teen; I'm glad it's not as bad as I thought. Anyway, long story, but… something really bad happened and you- we- we look after her. I know how stubborn she can be, I've been married to her for twenty something years now."

"Wait, married?"

"Yes."

" _Lou_ marries _me_?"

"Yep."

" _Why_?"

"She has a funny way of showing it, but she loves you. Uh, me. Us? Can I ask you something?" Young Leo stayed quiet, still computing this new detail. "I thought you'd be happy to hear this."

"It's a lot to take in."

"Just listen then." Leo proceeded to tell him everything he could, from the honeymoon kidnapping, to the two months without her- A.K.A torture on both counts- to the ways he helped her, Bradley, secret wedding, Elsie, the miscarriages, Alokia, another miscarriage, Charlie; he told him about the girls, about Festus and home life and his nieces and nephews- "Pretty much a small army."- and then, voice hoarse, he finished, "I get that it's like information overload, but once Lou's on your side, she won't leave without a fight. How are you feeling now?"

"My head's spinning, but… is that all true? Or are you here just to mess with me?" Older Leo smiled. "What changed her mind?"

"Piper tells me Lou did have feelings for me, she just took a while to work it out. I say Valdez charm."

"No-one thought to tell her?"

"Have you tried telling Lou about something she denies?"

"Fair point."

"Just don't give up, OK? I know Alvie's going to wipe your memories, but at least you know it all works out in the end, even on some level."

"Charlie was telling me he had a higher power, but he knew."

"Of course he knew. And, from what I've heard, I think you did too."

"He did remind me of Lou." Leo admitted. "Not just because of his eyes though, I knew they were the same, like Lou in a good mood- things he said or did… he called me _padre_." He recounted the story, looking to his future self like he was still looking for answers. "I wonder what they're talking about."

"Oh, she's probably watering it down and denying the Valdez charm actually worked. Hey, feeling up to a water fight?"

"No."

"Then let's steal their left socks. Come on, it'll be fun."

"Why the left ones? And does left and right really differentiate between socks?"

"Look, stop being an ass and let's go cause havoc. I'm pretty good at that, even if I do say so myself."


	13. Chapter 13

**OK, here's how it's going to work from now on- seeing as it's getting closer to Christmas, I'm going to be working more hours, but I** _ **can**_ **update Tuesdays, some Wednesday mornings, Thursdays and every other weekend. So, I'm not abandoning stories- I'm working on them during lunches, it's just posting them that I have trouble with. I AM STILL HERE AND I DO APOLOGISE FOR MAKING A MESS OF UPDATING THE LAST FEW WEEKS, BUT I HAVE A PLAN NOW AND IT'S GOING TO WORK.**

* * *

Once Leo was sure he wasn't going to die and young Louisa had calmed down, he, his Louisa and Charlie sat the others down. A friend had joined them, hidden under a cloak and watching from the corner. "You asked about the honeymoon and the kid. Well, yes, there was a honeymoon. It was a bit delayed though, seeing as said kid was born on your wedding day. You were cutting the cake and then, bam, baby."

"Valdez, are ya sure we can tell 'em all this?"

"Oh, they won't remember it anyway."

"I'm pretty sure we will." Annabeth's voice was unusually high.

"Nah. That's why he's here. Meet Jackson kid three. He's my favourite, but don't tell the others I said that." Leo waved their cloaked friend over, sitting patiently when they hesitated, edging closer like the floor was going to crack beneath their feet. Eventually, they joined them, standing next to the older Louisa. She yanked their hood down.

"Oh my gods, he looks just like Percy!" Piper gushed, jumping to her feet. "Just, shorter and not as well-built, but look at his face! What's your name?"

"A-Alvie."

"Ooh, he's so cute!" Piper squished Alvie's face between her hands. She was bursting at the seams with excitement- "That's confirmed Leoisa _and_ confirmed Percabeth in the same day, I'm so happy! Do I have any kids?"

"Two." Alvie said quietly. He kept glancing at his parents. Annabeth was staring at him through a gap between her fingers. Percy was the first to approach, looking Alvie over carefully. He saw the matching grey streak, the same tousled raven hair, saw the shape of Alvie's face and felt his own jawline, brow furrowing. Alvie started chewing his lip, which is when his uncle popped up, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"Dude," Leo hissed, giving Percy a pointed look, "you're making him nervous."

"I- I'm sorry, this is… a little overwhelming. You have Annabeth's eyes." Alvie nodded, wringing his hands. "Alvie, was it?" More nodding. "That Leo said you were Jackson kid three. How…" He glanced anxiously at Annabeth. "How, um, how many of you are there or will be or… or whatever?"

"Um… seven."

" _Seven_?" Annabeth looked ready to pass out.

"Three of them were triplets." Alvie mumbled.

" _Triplets_? Oh my gods, are you-? What-? I-" Alvie had never seen his mother flounder for words, instinctively moving forward and resting his fingertips to her forehead. "What are you-? Ooh, that's… oddly nice, what was that?" Annabeth was suddenly much calmer. Alvie took a step back, looking to his aunt and uncle. They both nodded encouragement. Taking a shaky breath, Alvie slowly began to explain; "Apollo gave me powers, but because of my Poseidon-Athenian heritage, I've… I've developed… well, the others call them psychic powers-"

"Which they are." Charlie chipped in. "He's like a brain ninja."

"He means I'm telepathic. And, um… telekinetic. And I get visions and prophecies and stuff-"

"Are you an Oracle?" Annabeth asked.

"No, I- no, Rachel is still the Oracle, she's not passed the mantle on yet. I just… I can help sometimes."

"And he can play any instrument and heal pretty much any ouchie and- ooh! You should see him when he's angry, he steals cars!"

"Charlie, you're not helping!" Leo pulled a roll of duct tape from his belt and taped his son's mouth shut. Charlie fumed at him, wrinkling his nose. Louisa cackled and high fived her husband.

"That was one time, let it go." Alvie rubbed at his arms.

"You're here to wipe our memories." Nico scowled. Alvie nodded tentatively.

"Charlie's coming here started meddling with the time line. I… I know we came back to get him. Neither of them wanted to stay in our time, but I had to come too. Lou could've played with the Mist to bury your memories, but we couldn't run the risk of enemies toying with that magic, so I'm here to make sure they're properly hidden away."

"You can do that?" Percy marvelled. Alvie nodded again, picking at his lip. "Does that mean the timeline will straighten itself out? We'll still have seven kids?"

"Seven sounds painful." Annabeth grimaced. "What are the others called, what are they like?"

"Um… well, you're not going to remember, so it doesn't hurt to tell. Tobias is the eldest, he crashed your wedding. He's… I'd say he's Tobias, but you don't know what that's like yet. Then there's Max, he's a bit… uh, eccentric. Not Tobias eccentric, just… it's complicated. Then there's me, I'm au- I'm an acolyte of Apollo-"

"Were you going to say something else?" Annabeth frowned.

"No. Sage is next. She's like you." He nodded at his mother. "Then the triplets, Theo, Callum and Lilly. Theo's moody as hell, Callum is a smaller version of Tobias and Lilly's like Sage, just quieter and less angry."

"And are they OK?" Percy asked. "What powers do they have, what weapons?"

"Tobias and Max control ice, Tobias has a sword like yours, but it's called Ice instead and Max has axes. I don't really have… I have a knife, that's about it. I'm not exactly, um, not the combat-type. Sage has knives and some control over the sea, but she mostly fights with brain rather than brawn. Theo can turn into animals like Frank. Callum is a bit of a jack-of-all-trades and Lilly, she's the most pacifist out of us all. Not a complete pacifist, but she won't fight unless she really _really_ has to." Alvie rubbed at his eyes. When he looked back up, they were glowing a crystal white. He looked to Leo and Louisa. "We've got a few minutes."

Charlie was still trying to get the duct tape off, making muffled pained noises. Leo was laughing into his hand, doing his best to regain his composure when his wife fixed a _shut up_ look on him.

"Hello!" Piper bounced up, beaming excitedly. "OK, quick fire questions. Leoisa kids?"

"Three- Elsie, Alokia and Charlie." Leo smiled.

"How-? How did you-?" Piper pointed at older Louisa and the future husband, flipping her hands back and forth to indicate the pairing. "How did this happen?"

"Valdez charm." They said together. "It works wonders." Leo grinned, winking cheekily.

"So he likes ta think."

"Hey!"

"Ow, ow, ow-" Charlie whimpered.

"Oh, you big baby." Leo snorted with laughter, reaching forward to rip the last of the tape off. Charlie yelped, clamping his hands over his mouth and hiding behind his mother, realising a second later he was using the teenage version as a shield.

"Hello." He said from behind his hands. "Don't worry, I'm the nice one."

"You lied ta us."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. Like Alvie said, I seriously screwed up the timeline coming back. I didn't want to not exist and if I didn't exist because I, uh, I don't know, stopped you two getting together or whatever, then Elsie and Kia wouldn't exist either and I… panicked. I'm sorry. No, demon!" He yelled as a loud bang echoed around the room. Coach Hedge charged in, brandishing his bat and screaming "DIE!"

"No, Coach, wait!" Percy and Jason ran forward, ducking as the bat swung about their heads. "Coach!"

"DIE, MONSTER INVADERS!"

"They're not monsters!"

"DEATH!"

"Coach!" Nico called. "We were right." The satyr froze and flipped a questioning look at the son of Hades. "Put the bat down and I'll explain." Hedge didn't seem happy with letting his favoured weapon go, but it was nice to know he was right for a change. Nico made introductions, Percy kept the bat away, and then Nico and Coach started to describe their earlier suspicions. "Charlie's life aura was seriously messed up. I could sense the connection between him and Leo and I would have bought this alternate dimension malarkey if I hadn't felt a connection between him and Lou too. And… you're not supposed to be alive now. Your spirit isn't exactly dead, but… pre-living. Yours too." He nodded at Alvie. Coach was sniffing this newcomer.

"You smell like the sea and books. JACKSON!" He bellowed. Percy startled violently, dropping the bat on his foot and swearing profusely. "AND YOU, MISS CHASE!"

"Excuse me-" Alvie squeaked.

"Not now, boy, I'm telling your parents off."

"You do realise I'm technically older than them, right?"

"Did I ask for a smart-ass reply? No. So shut up." Coach folded his arms resolutely. Alvie bit his lip and shrugged at his cousin. Charlie looked a bit put out, having thoroughly enjoyed the little dispute.

"As I was saying," Nico continued, shaking his head at the satyr, "Hedge figured I could tell something wasn't quite right and he could smell the ocean on Charlie."

"We were about ninety percent sure he was a, uh… what'd you call them?" He asked Piper, gesturing at Leo and Louisa.

"Leoisa. Wait, you knew he was a Leoisa kid and you didn't tell me? How out of the loop was that?"

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a bunch." Coach snorted. "We had our reasons. Why are your eyes glowing?"

"Now." Alvie said, the light in his eyes fading away. The future bunch considered their younger selves. Leo sighed and Charlie stuck his tongue. "Give it about twenty-five, twenty-six years and I'll let you all remember this." Coach started to protest- he wasn't finished!- but Alvie said, "We have to go now otherwise we really will mess up the timeline."

"Then I'm gonna smack you in twenty-five years."

"Wait, before you do your memory magic thing," Percy put a hand on Alvie's shoulder, "do I get a puppy?"

"Max does."

"Close enough."

"Seaweed Brain!"

"What? Oh, come on, that'd be awesome!"

"You're going to have seven kids to worry about, I don't think a puppy is the priority!"

"Um, correction, _we_ are going to have seven kids to worry about and a puppy is always the priority. What kind of puppy does Max have?"

"Dalmatian."

"Awww, I love it already! OK, you can carry on now. See you in, uh, about twenty years? How old are you?"

"Nearly nineteen."

"Dude, I feel old."

"Percy, let him do his thing or we won't see them in twenty odd years."

"Shutting up."

"Thank you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Back!**

* * *

"Charlie!"

"Ow!"

"Oh, I could _kill_ you!" Elsie scolded, pinching her brother's ear with an iron grip. "Why? Why can't you sit still for two minutes? That's all you had to do, but _noooo_ , little delinquent Charlie has to play with the shiny thing that _clearly_ said no touchy and don't come out with any dyslexic crap, I could read it just _fine_ and then you go back in _time_ to meet _them_ as teenagers; you could have wiped us _all_ from _existence_ , you _stupid_ little half-witted elf, don't you _ever_ do that again or I'll break every bone in your body, is that _clear_?"

"Yes ma'am." Charlie squeaked. Elsie scowled at him and stomped off. Alokia appeared to squeeze the life out of him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you off. Elsie did that for the both of us. I'm just going to hug you until you're purple!" She finished cheerily.

"No." Charlie choked wiggling to try and free himself. "Mama!" He rasped. "Mama, I can't breathe! Mama! Padre!" He called as Leo walked in. Leo heard his wheezes and looked up from whatever he was tinkering with. "Padre, help." Leo planted a hand on his hip, snapping his fingers and pointing down. Alokia _hmmph_ 'ed, crushing Charlie more.

"Kia, let him go."

"Not if he's not purple."

"More like a lilac, now let him go. I'll ground you." Leo added, wagging a warning finger at her.

"For what?" She challenged immediately.

"For suddenly being too much like your mother. I can barely handle her and Elsie, I don't need another one." Leo snapped his fingers again. Alokia huffed and dropped Charlie, blowing a raspberry on his cheek and then shoving him away. She muttered something unsavoury before sauntering off to find her sister, a slight bounce in her step. "You OK?" Leo rested a hand on his son's shoulder.

"I'm going to die."

"Not if you behave, you won't. They _are_ happy to see you, but they're mad you're a prat, which I _hope_ is what Kia said. I swear to gods if she turns into another Lou, I'm moving to the Underworld."

"I'll find you." Leo startled violently, nearly burning his wife's face off. Louisa crossed her arms.

"Chica, love of my life, one I shall never leave or upset and will forever love, respect and hold dearly; we were just talking about you, all good things, all good things."

"You're a prat. I can see where he gets it from."

"Mama, they want to kill me."

"Well tough. That's my job."

"I don't want to be killed." Charlie mumbled. "I think Elsie killed my ear."

"Don't be a- we've used prat already. What else can I use?"

"How about stupid little half-witted elf?" Elsie suggested, returning with Alokia in tow.

"No. I like it, but no. Ah!" Louisa snapped her fingers, poking Charlie's forehead. "Toad!"

Charlie protested instantly, stomping his feet; "Toads are slimey and evil and no!" He said, shaking his head furiously. Leo smirked.

"Toad's having a tantrum."

"I thought you were on my side?" Charlie pouted. Leo shook his head, drawing something from his belt. Charlie hissed and ducked behind his sisters. Leo waved the orb at him, the demon contraption that started the whole problem. Leo also showed him the 'no touchy' post-it note. "You're not going to kill me too, are you?"

"I'm considering it. What does this say?"

"Um, yes touchy?"

"And when does 'yes touchy' ever get said by someone in this family that _doesn't_ play with time-travelling, dimension jumping soccer balls?"

"Just now."

"I don't count."

"Wait what?" Louisa came back around, grabbing Leo by the arm and forcibly spinning him around. Leo's eyes widened, busted. " _What_ did you _do_?"

"I may or may not have accidentally gone to a dimension where we were all the opposite gender. I was only there, maybe or maybe not, for a few minutes."

"Ya went to another dimension _and never took me_?"

"Look, if I had planned it, you know I would have."

"How did you get back so quickly?" Charlie asked, curiously reaching for the orb. Four hands appeared and smacked his away and Louisa grounded him before Leo got to answer.

"I had this." Leo showed him the sphere.

"But it disappeared when I went through."

"That's 'cos ya stupid." Louisa flicked him in the head.

"You need to hold it in both hands."

"Oh, why didn't I think of that? No, no touchy." Charlie jumped into karate mode as his mother made to flick him again.

"Hypocrite. Elsie, get 'im."

"No!"

"Gladly." Elsie smirked, cracking her knuckles. Charlie squeaked and ran. "Shrimp! Get back here!"

* * *

"Pinch!"

"Percy, stop pinching him!"

"I'm excited! Sorry, Alvie." Percy smiled sheepishly. "Carry on." He waved at his son, bouncing from one foot to the other. Alvie raised a brow at his mother, who was watching her husband exasperatedly. The rest of the old crew was there as well, Nico and Hedge included. The satyr was armed with his bat- as much as he had accepted Alvie and his unique set of abilities, he didn't trust the mind-reading and/or potential manipulation.

Like Percy, the others were interested. Piper was a little annoyed that her Leoisa and Percabeth confirmations had been taken _so very cruelly_ , but she was just as eager to get her memories back. Like Annabeth, Jason was rolling his eyes at his partner. Hazel and Frank were waiting patiently, sat together at one end of the sofa, sipping tea. Nico was entertaining Madam, his crow, slouched in the armchair. Leo was making sure his daughters hadn't killed Charlie. Strangely, Louisa wasn't helping him. She was sat in the windowed alcove, her back to them all.

Alvie's eyes blazed white, hands jumping forward. Silence filled the room, but so did a buzzing energy. The mass of younger generations watched interestedly. Tobias took advantage of the adults immobility, whipping out a marker and a wicked grin. His sisters hissed at him, Callum immediately hopped up to join in only to be pegged by Max. Tobias went about, giggling to himself and drawing moustaches, cat faces, the Superman symbol on Jason's forehead, gills on his father, glasses on his mother with a very crude drawing of an owl spreading its wings across her forehead. He got to Louisa when Alvie broke the mental connection. Louisa's hand shot out, Tobias yelped and then he was on the floor, having various swears and scribbles all over his face and arms.

"Tobias!" Annabeth raged. "You were banned from markers! You still are!"

"Join the club." Charlie chipped in.

"Where did you come from?" Annabeth demanded hotly. Charlie grinned slyly. "What? What has he drawn- oh, Tobias!"

"Max made me do it."

"Hey!" Max protested.

"Tobias, that's _permanent_! And I see you left Hazel alone, that's just favouritism!"

"Hazel makes me food." Tobias shrugged. "The rest of you let me starve."

"You'll eat us out of house and home otherwise." Annabeth muttered, rubbing irritably at her forehead. "Oh, you're grounded."

"You guys need to think up some new punishments." Tobias muttered. Louisa still had him pinned, giving the marker to her husband. Tobias had been sure to give his uncle a very curly moustache, snickering to himself.

"Way ahead of you." Leo grinned, reaching into his toolbelt. "I see you left Soph at home."

" _Nooo_ , don't tell her! She'll kill me!"

"And? Hey, Soph! I know, I know, it's been a while, but your darling husband has some news for you."

"Lies! Why are you so weirdly strong?" Tobias wailed up at his aunt.

"OK, question." Piper said, flapping her hand in the air. "I don't remember. Well, I'm getting bits, but it's fuzzy."

"It'll take a few days." Alvie told her. "Those memories have been buried for the majority of your lives, they need some time to come back up."

"Also question- can you get rid of this?" She waved at her face, sending a cold look to his older brother. Alvie snapped his fingers, ridding them all of their drawings. Except for Percy, because the gills rather amused him.

"Ow, head rush, head rush." Percy complained, pressing his palms to his temples.

"Oh, that might happen too. Where you're so hyped up, Dad, it makes the process faster. Yes, sugar rushes will probably help, caffeine, exercises, something to get the blood going and the brain working."

"Let's go for a run!" Piper declared. "Lou, race you!"

"What, why me?"

"Because I have a bone to pick with you. Last one to Central Park loses." Piper grinned cheekily. Louisa didn't like to lose. They were up and out the door in seconds. The others could hear Piper's laughter until she disappeared around the corner. Leo didn't seem happy with this sudden pairing, watching intently out the window for their return. Charlie stood next to him, making fire puppets.

"So, now what?" Percy asked. "And why am I still penned?"

"Because Alvie has a secret mean streak and I think we should lock Charlie away for the rest of his life."

"Tobias, we've talked about your ideas."

"Fine then." He spread his arms vertically, closing them with a sharp clap that made Alvie jump. "End scene."

* * *

 **Probably a naff last chapter, I know, but I'd be repeating things and such and I don't want to. Thanks for sticking by me through this! ^_^**


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